Step-by-Step Template for Writing Wedding Vows as a Short Love Letter

Think of writing your Wedding Vows as a short love letter. This approach lets you speak from your heart, tapping into something deep within. Try using a pen and paper for the first draft rather than typing on a computer. There’s something more intimate about it. And don’t shy away from including your own unique flourishes; in fact, it’s encouraged.

The ultimate is to make your partner feel like a King or Queen. Pay tribute to them. Gush, in a dignified way, about why you’ve chosen them above all the rest. This means you’ll use the word “You” as much or more than you use the word “I.”

  1.  You might open by stating how happy you are to be standing at the altar with them, or how beautiful they are to you, or how excited you are to be starting this new journey with them, etc.
  2.  Get at whatever it was that first gave you to know that this relationship was different or significant. Share a snippet about your first date or when you first “knew.” Recount a brief anecdote or recite a short quote, or start with a couple lines from a revealing early email exchange or journal entry. 
  3.  Briefly share what you love and admire about them…sweet, poignant, funny…by telling them something along the lines of the following:

    — What they bring out in you
— How they make you feel
— Why they make you happy
  4.  Express how thankful or lucky you are for this — and them. As simple as saying something such as, “With you, I fee like I’ve won the lottery.”
  5.  If your own words seem to fall short, consider the option of using lines from a poem or song, etc. One Bride used lyrics from the Led Zeppelin song, “Thank You.”
  6.  Make a cluster of promises upholding what you’ll give of yourself for their good and the good of this marriage. For example, how you plan to make him or her happy, support and comfort them, how you’ll stay by their side no matter what…expressed in your own way. One Bride told her Groom that she’d always be his sous chef.
    Note: These promises can be sentence fragments, such as, “I promise to…. To…. To…”  (Be judicious with adverbs, such as “always,” “never,” and “every,” unless you’re not prone to be human.)
  7.  Touch on the things you look forward to experiencing and building together.
  8.  Promise what you’ll contribute toward realizing that future and your shared dreams. As an example, if it’s important to keep passion alive in your relationship, you could promise to always shop the annual Victoria’s Secret sale. You get the idea, even if that’s a bad example. Try to sprinkle in something personal.
  9.  Express how grateful and/or honored you are to become their husband or wife and spend your life with them. It can be quirky, such as, “Getting to spend my life with you is…as my mother likes to say…like I’ve fallen into a vat of butter.”

Wedding Vows needn’t be long or entertaining…nor include each and every one of these numbered suggestions. Condense it all together if you like (such as #7 and #8, or eliminate #1)). Vows just ought to be honest, heartfelt and real — coming from the part of yourself that’s amazed to be fully committing to this remarkable person.

(If you were to follow the above template, writing one or two lines for each numbered suggestion, I believe you’d have a complete set of fully realized Wedding Vows.)



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