I cried myself to sleep the night of December 21, 2012. This surprised me, especially its continuation immediately upon waking the next morning. Because I would have told you that I wasn’t expecting much on that date. Even though channeled messages from Archangel Michael, et al, said there would be an “Event.” And many in my circle assumed this “Event” would naturally coincide with the 12/21/12 end-date of the Mayan Calendar. Obviously, unbeknownst to my subconscious self, so did I. So when nothing happened…(see above).
In the lead up to 12/21/12, there was so much back-and-forth: “Would Ascension be gradual or sudden and momentous?” The Company of Heaven (that would include such luminaries as Archangel Michael, Jesus Sananda, and Saul aka Paul the Apostle)…. The Company of Heaven seemed to hedge when they maintained “both.”
Matthew Ward in particular said that for most, December 22, 2012 would feel like any other day on the surface of things (http://www.matthewbooks.com/mattsmessage.htm).
It did feel the same…and that’s why I was crying. Unlike some suggestions of what we could hope to expect — per the many channels – I didn’t suddenly feel like I was flying up through my crown chakra. I couldn’t suddenly see disembodied spirits all around me…my Guardian Angel, my deceased Grandmother, Galactic ETs. A City of Light did not shoot pillars of light down from the sky.
I will say that my environs did seem filled with intense bright light. It was a trippy day if nothing else. People were preternaturally nice. I was where I wanted to be — Williamsburg, Brooklyn — staying in a hip boutique hotel where Fellini’s “8 1/2” loops on television screens embedded across the length of the reception desk. A stream runs through the middle of the lobby floor under a wide strip of glass. Our skyline view of New York City from the furnished patio was exhilarating. The penthouse suite all blond-wood floors and stainless minimalism. The bed in which I cried myself to sleep as soft as a cloud. There’s nowhere else where I’d want to be in whatever dimension. And maybe that’s all there is to a state of bliss, anyway, not wanting anything but what one has.
My friend Barry woke up on the eve of 12/21/12 with a soothing warmth radiating out from his chest. He is certain that something did HAPPEN on the appointed Mayan date. At least this was a glimmer to which I clung mightily. His cells re-aligning is the official story.
Anyway, I am not sure that I was crying from disappointment so much as from release. The build up to the vaunted date produced a lot anxiety. Was I going to make it? Would I cross over into the 5th Dimension? Or would I be left behind in a mere Earth hologram, like a tread mark on the road out of town. I may have just been relieved that I wasn’t left behind as everyone I knew was still around.
Many believed that we’d suddenly be living in Unity Consciousness, loving each other, not needing to eat food unless for pleasure, nourishing ourselves with light from the Sun…teleporting, bi-locating, flying, playing, not having to work.
Yet it always seemed to me, in retrospect, that the different channels were telling us that there would be a period when Lightworkers and even Ascended Masters would be walking Earth, preparing our family and friends, perhaps the “hordes,” for the Ascension. That 12/21/12 was just a date in what’s really a progression. Even my Spiritual Reader, Nancy Miller, said that by my eventual ascending…my husband and child would decide to do likewise. So it must be a rolling type of “Event.” And also presumes that my husband, son, and me would all be living together even while in different dimensions, which reasons that no one is “going” anywhere, such as to a new planet. In fact, we are bringing Heaven here, to physicality. It took me a while — post disappointment — to finally get that.
Meanwhile, Barry has received intelligence from Jack, his disembodied friend with whom he communicates (apparently, they have experienced lifetimes together and may even be soul mates)…that approximately 80% of the population will choose to dearly depart rather than ascend in body-form into the Fifth Dimension with Earth — also known by the name, Gaia. Even after nothing happened on 12/21/12, Barry is maintaining that belief. That jives with what we were “told” by channelers: only 30% of the population had raised their vibration sufficiently high enough to enter 5th dimensional reality as of the drop-dead 12/21/12 date. So essentially, the other 70% were given an extension to see if they can raise it up. Which explains the seeming 12/21/12 non-event.
I briefly whipped myself into a bit of a lather over this, “Why wait for a bunch of people who have no interest in their own spiritual progress?” But I woke up the next morning with my equanimity returned. We have all eternity, so what’s a few more weeks or months or even years? I guess the more people who come along, the better. And who am I kidding? I’m probably one of those who needs a little more time to clear old patterns and release outmoded beliefs.
Here’s one. Now that ostensibly nothing has really happened on December 21, 2012, I am finished with the New Age. As I told Barry in one of our back-and-forth emails, I am taking matters into my own hands. No more poring over channeled material (if this were a New Year’s resolution, it would already be broken). Or attending workshops. Or relying on another’s vision. I am trusting my own intuition. I am forgiving everything in my path. I am looking only the good in people. I am going to act as if I have Ascended.
Instead of a party, a “welcome home” celebration after December 21, 2012, there was a deep silence. Even my Ego voice wasn’t talking. Here was its chance to say, “Come on. You know you’re too unworthy to have a direct revelation of God, as hoped. You were kidding yourself.” But as disappointed as I was, I didn’t default to my usual downer self-talk. Here was something.
Instead, I knew in my heart this was the predicted “Three Days of Darkness.” Yet the Three Days of Darkness was not some worldwide cataclysm. A nuclear holocaust. The start of World War III. It is a vacuum. It’s the collapsing of time into one timeline. It’s the end of a future except that which we create for ourselves. Now that’s scary, but I for one am ready.
The tears have stopped, the questioning has quieted, and the excitement and readiness to go forward into the 5th Dimension is full throttle. These are days of magic and manifestation. Yes, something did happen. I took back the night.